Sep 20, 2023·edited Sep 20, 2023Liked by Lux Alptraum
As a non-monogamous bi person, I feel this. My relationships are stigmatized both by my queerness and by being non-monogamous. I don't feel comfortable mentioning my girlfriends, who are important people in my life, to coworkers who I am out to as bi, because they met my boyfriend first. The weight of trying to be a "good bisexual" is heavy and oppressive. I know that one of the primary effects of internalized biphobia on me is a pervasive feeling of guilt, and I wonder if others feel the same (and if this is part of our worse mental health outcomes).
Oh yeah I felt so much guilt over being a "bad bisexual" (for having had threesomes, for having dated mostly men, for not being monogamous, for so many reasons) for *years*. Honestly it was only by becoming a "good bisexual" (in my case, by deciding I didn't want to date men anymore) that I was able to actually see my shame for the internalized biphobia that it was and stop judging myself by whether I was adhering to other people's bullshit standards.
As a non-monogamous bi person, I feel this. My relationships are stigmatized both by my queerness and by being non-monogamous. I don't feel comfortable mentioning my girlfriends, who are important people in my life, to coworkers who I am out to as bi, because they met my boyfriend first. The weight of trying to be a "good bisexual" is heavy and oppressive. I know that one of the primary effects of internalized biphobia on me is a pervasive feeling of guilt, and I wonder if others feel the same (and if this is part of our worse mental health outcomes).
Oh yeah I felt so much guilt over being a "bad bisexual" (for having had threesomes, for having dated mostly men, for not being monogamous, for so many reasons) for *years*. Honestly it was only by becoming a "good bisexual" (in my case, by deciding I didn't want to date men anymore) that I was able to actually see my shame for the internalized biphobia that it was and stop judging myself by whether I was adhering to other people's bullshit standards.
Happy birthday! (whilst it still is in your time zone if not mine)