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metasequoiana's avatar

The article you're describing reads like a literal, not-in-on-the-joke take of that old biphobic jab "does your straight boyfriend know you're in a queer relationship".

Appreciate the nuance on this. The most crushingly heteronormative relationship I've been in was with a bi man (the "good way" to have a different gender relationship according to some), but I've also been in a relationship with a straight man that felt less heteronormative than a butch-femme relationship I've been in with a woman. It's complicated!

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Lux Alptraum's avatar

Yeah I was abused by my bi ex in a very heterosexual way! It's very complicated.

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Kazmierz Ballaski's avatar

Indeed. A former queer partner of mine was assaulted by the first man she slept with, who was bisexual. And my straight second ex wife both assaulted me when I ended the marriage and called me a pervert who watches gay porn on the way out the door.

There's bad people all over for us.

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Lux Alptraum's avatar

I'm so sorry you and your ex had those experiences, it's so awful.

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Kazmierz Ballaski's avatar

As a bisexual man now polyamorous and firmly done with two straight marriages, I would say the appropriate characterization is not that bisexuals cannot be in a straight relationship, but that straights have a hard time being in a straight relationship with bisexuals. It's less pronounced with men than with women, but comfort with dating a bisexual is still in the double digit net negative with men (-17), whereas with women it's -34 and strong discomfort is -29.

It is unfortunately a truth many bisexuals learn the hard way; I surely did. Caution is wise, as is consideration of whether she wants to put up with a relationship that very likely will default to the lowest common denominator of straight comfort.

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