The article you're describing reads like a literal, not-in-on-the-joke take of that old biphobic jab "does your straight boyfriend know you're in a queer relationship".
Appreciate the nuance on this. The most crushingly heteronormative relationship I've been in was with a bi man (the "good way" to have a different gender relationship according to some), but I've also been in a relationship with a straight man that felt less heteronormative than a butch-femme relationship I've been in with a woman. It's complicated!
Indeed. A former queer partner of mine was assaulted by the first man she slept with, who was bisexual. And my straight second ex wife both assaulted me when I ended the marriage and called me a pervert who watches gay porn on the way out the door.
As a bisexual man now polyamorous and firmly done with two straight marriages, I would say the appropriate characterization is not that bisexuals cannot be in a straight relationship, but that straights have a hard time being in a straight relationship with bisexuals. It's less pronounced with men than with women, but comfort with dating a bisexual is still in the double digit net negative with men (-17), whereas with women it's -34 and strong discomfort is -29.
It is unfortunately a truth many bisexuals learn the hard way; I surely did. Caution is wise, as is consideration of whether she wants to put up with a relationship that very likely will default to the lowest common denominator of straight comfort.
The article you're describing reads like a literal, not-in-on-the-joke take of that old biphobic jab "does your straight boyfriend know you're in a queer relationship".
Appreciate the nuance on this. The most crushingly heteronormative relationship I've been in was with a bi man (the "good way" to have a different gender relationship according to some), but I've also been in a relationship with a straight man that felt less heteronormative than a butch-femme relationship I've been in with a woman. It's complicated!
Yeah I was abused by my bi ex in a very heterosexual way! It's very complicated.
Indeed. A former queer partner of mine was assaulted by the first man she slept with, who was bisexual. And my straight second ex wife both assaulted me when I ended the marriage and called me a pervert who watches gay porn on the way out the door.
There's bad people all over for us.
I'm so sorry you and your ex had those experiences, it's so awful.
As a bisexual man now polyamorous and firmly done with two straight marriages, I would say the appropriate characterization is not that bisexuals cannot be in a straight relationship, but that straights have a hard time being in a straight relationship with bisexuals. It's less pronounced with men than with women, but comfort with dating a bisexual is still in the double digit net negative with men (-17), whereas with women it's -34 and strong discomfort is -29.
It is unfortunately a truth many bisexuals learn the hard way; I surely did. Caution is wise, as is consideration of whether she wants to put up with a relationship that very likely will default to the lowest common denominator of straight comfort.