"I wanted a boyfriend because I wanted to know that I deserved to have a boyfriend more than because I was exclusively called to romantic intimacy with men." - I don't think I've ever read anything to which I so hard relate. I've only recently started to think about why I dated and hooked up with men so much more than women as a young person. And the biggest factor I can identify upon retrospection is just that it felt like I'd be rewarded by society more to do so! Capturing the attention of a man was what would get me respect and approval, hard stop.
Hey, as you're working to get off substack I wanted to point you at Molly White's writeup of her migration, https://citationneeded.news/substack-to-self-hosted-ghost/ since it's got a lot of technical details in it. I don't know if anything there would be super handy for you given the scales involved, and Patreon might be the right place to go anyway. Good luck! <3
"I wanted a boyfriend because I wanted to know that I deserved to have a boyfriend more than because I was exclusively called to romantic intimacy with men." - I don't think I've ever read anything to which I so hard relate. I've only recently started to think about why I dated and hooked up with men so much more than women as a young person. And the biggest factor I can identify upon retrospection is just that it felt like I'd be rewarded by society more to do so! Capturing the attention of a man was what would get me respect and approval, hard stop.
Great post as always.
Hey, as you're working to get off substack I wanted to point you at Molly White's writeup of her migration, https://citationneeded.news/substack-to-self-hosted-ghost/ since it's got a lot of technical details in it. I don't know if anything there would be super handy for you given the scales involved, and Patreon might be the right place to go anyway. Good luck! <3