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metasequoiana's avatar

The problem with these examples is that in their own way, each of these comings out reinforce "bad" bisexuality -- that it is trivial, a casual thing that women do for fun or to appeal to men, with no deeper bearing on one's identity or relationship to society. And this vapidity ultimately stems from a lack bisexual community and bisexual culture these celebs can tie into, raise awareness of. In theory, queer representation provides guidelines to live, something to aspire to -- and these celebs don't do that.

My question is, is it possible to create a guideline for how to be bisexual, in the way that I think there are guidelines for how to be a lesbian? Is there a *right* way to be bisexual? Bisexual identity is always in tension between the desire for freedom, fluidity, breaking boundaries, and the desire for stability and a coherent identity. I'm unsure if this can be resolved, but I think the answer begins with creating bisexual spaces and cultures that go beyond media consumption.

The flip side of this is that there are other beautiful white femme bi celebrities in relationships with men who provide a representation that is more authentic and meaningful, but not in a good way. I'm talking about Amber Heard, Evan Rachel Wood, Angelina Jolie, and other bi celebrities subject to horrifying domestic abuse by their male partners and biphobic attacks by the public writ large. These women are representations of the horrifying statistics about sexual violence against bi people and the widespread normalization of bimisogyny. And I think they are a large part of the current "bi moment" and have actually done a lot to catalyze the very discussions you call for in this post.

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Charlotte Dune's avatar

I’m not sure if this makes me terrible, but I find it annoying when women who are clearly married to men “come out” on social media as queer or bi. Usually happens on days or holidays related to the topic. Like maybe they are, but it feels like virtue signaling or just looking for content ideas when they’ve been publicly presenting as heterosexual and married or in a perfect relationship with a man.

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