Lux, as always, thanks for this. Between yesterday and today you've driven me to a lot of self-reflection and I appreciate it. As a man who had relationships with both women and men in my late teens/early 20s while thinking of myself as straight, then married a woman, realized in my 30s I was bi, and came out as such in my 40s, I see a lot of myself in all of this... both when I thought I was straight but allied, and now. What I mean by this: yes, I identify as queer; I'm a cisgender man with generally very masculine presentation (I'm broad, tall-ish, and almost always bearded), which is all fine and good; but then I also had a period earlier in my life where I pretty frequently wore skirts (for comfort, I thought at the time, and without making effort to appear non-masculine). One thing I deal with in an ongoing way is persistently feeling like a Fake Queer for being a bi man monogamously married to a woman, and I am working on unlearning this slowly but steadily. Your newsletter is a huge help in this. But also I had never really thought about the idea of the Queer Straight Person applying beyond the point where I realized I was a Queer Queer Person -- and now I'm realizing that somewhere in here is maybe a subset of Queer Straight Person that could be called a Cis Genderqueer/NB Person (?). I have some thinking to do on this!
Lux, as always, thanks for this. Between yesterday and today you've driven me to a lot of self-reflection and I appreciate it. As a man who had relationships with both women and men in my late teens/early 20s while thinking of myself as straight, then married a woman, realized in my 30s I was bi, and came out as such in my 40s, I see a lot of myself in all of this... both when I thought I was straight but allied, and now. What I mean by this: yes, I identify as queer; I'm a cisgender man with generally very masculine presentation (I'm broad, tall-ish, and almost always bearded), which is all fine and good; but then I also had a period earlier in my life where I pretty frequently wore skirts (for comfort, I thought at the time, and without making effort to appear non-masculine). One thing I deal with in an ongoing way is persistently feeling like a Fake Queer for being a bi man monogamously married to a woman, and I am working on unlearning this slowly but steadily. Your newsletter is a huge help in this. But also I had never really thought about the idea of the Queer Straight Person applying beyond the point where I realized I was a Queer Queer Person -- and now I'm realizing that somewhere in here is maybe a subset of Queer Straight Person that could be called a Cis Genderqueer/NB Person (?). I have some thinking to do on this!
"The B+ Squad" series is a river of revelation and delight. You're astonishing.
Thanks! I do my best!
“the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”
🔥❤️🔥