Bi Husband Energy...Bi Wife Energy...ugh. Adjectives or labels can be helpful signposts at times. I want most people to know I identify as bi, but other labels veer off into distraction, baggage and misinformation. Even as I identify as a bi man, there are SO many assumptions people make. One can only feign surprise as these other labels distort the reality to absurdity. I REALLY love being bi, and I'm happy to explain how that manifests for myself, but more often, assumptions are made. Some of these very specific labels need to be tossed into the bin.
I think some of this might also come from how mixed-orientation relationships have been written about until very recently. I remember Googling mixed-orientation relationships and every single article without fail was about gay men marrying straight women. I can't help but think that how people write about marriages between bi men and straight women might be colored by what came before it.
The movie Kinsey might be an interesting parallel example; it portrayed Kinsey's same-sex explorations as something potentially damaging (and emotionally fraught as he initially cheats on his wife with his student) but it quickly transitioned into a more equitable polyamory with completely different emotional evolution. At the time I thought it was a fairly even handed look at their relationship, and I'd be curious to see how it holds up now.
Bi Husband Energy...Bi Wife Energy...ugh. Adjectives or labels can be helpful signposts at times. I want most people to know I identify as bi, but other labels veer off into distraction, baggage and misinformation. Even as I identify as a bi man, there are SO many assumptions people make. One can only feign surprise as these other labels distort the reality to absurdity. I REALLY love being bi, and I'm happy to explain how that manifests for myself, but more often, assumptions are made. Some of these very specific labels need to be tossed into the bin.
It's a fraught topic and my experiences as an ex bi husband are doubly so.
I think some of this might also come from how mixed-orientation relationships have been written about until very recently. I remember Googling mixed-orientation relationships and every single article without fail was about gay men marrying straight women. I can't help but think that how people write about marriages between bi men and straight women might be colored by what came before it.
v.interesting insight as always, tks
The movie Kinsey might be an interesting parallel example; it portrayed Kinsey's same-sex explorations as something potentially damaging (and emotionally fraught as he initially cheats on his wife with his student) but it quickly transitioned into a more equitable polyamory with completely different emotional evolution. At the time I thought it was a fairly even handed look at their relationship, and I'd be curious to see how it holds up now.