There’s an unfinished newsletter that’s been sitting in my Substack drafts folder since… I mean probably since I first started this newsletter last fall, honestly. It’s titled “I am begging you to have higher standards,” and opens by talking about a tweet I’d been sent about Andor’s subtle bisexual reveal (one so subtle that, months later, I find myself confused at the notion that Andor had a bi character) and then goes on to express my irritation at the sheer excitement people express over, like, a discarded House of the Dragon shot that may suggest that Daemon Targaryen bangs dudes on the side, or the blink and you’ll miss it “Loki has dated men” reveal from Loki or, you know, the handful of throwaway lines that suggest Bob from Bob’s Burgers is potentially attracted to men.
As the subject of that email suggests, I was writing from a place of frustration — a frustration, I should note, that I still very much feel. It’s not that I don’t think these characters are bi, it is simply the sheer volume of enthusiasm that people express over what are, effectively, scraps. One liner jokes. Jean-Ralphio may be “open minded as hell” but that doesn’t actually mean he’s actually bi representation.
We deserve better, is my point here. We deserve better representation of bisexuals broadly, and bisexual men in particular, because it is definitely men who get the “wait he said a man was attractive, BISEXUAL KING CONFIRMED” treatment most of all.
Anyway. I still think we deserve better representation, absolutely. I do think people should have higher standards about which characters get to be Bisexual Kings™️ (at a bare minimum I think you should at least, like, say the word bisexual in order to get that title). But this morning I am a little bit more charitable to some of this blink and you’ll miss it rep because, you know… it do be like that sometimes.
Bisexuality is such a strange and slippery thing, you know? Sometimes it is full on and in your face, solid in that proportionately distributed, “I am dating multiple genders at the same time and my relationships with all genders are equally valid” way. But sometimes it is more like a voice at the back of your head, something that lives in sly glances, in the porn we watch, in, ahem, being open minded as hell.
My problem with the subtle rep is that it’s often intended as a way to avoid actually addressing bisexuality head on, as a way of — as I noted above — throwing the bisexuals some scraps and rejoicing when we act live we’ve been served a seven course feast. I don't like that dynamic, not at all.
But I don’t want to deny that for some people, this is accurate representation of their bisexuality, or at least a moment in their bisexual journey, and it deserves to live onscreen alongside more full throated and vivacious representation. Bisexuality contains multitudes, you know? And those multitudes deserve to be explored.
But also? I do still think people need to have higher standards. I mean, that stance is evergreen for me.
Thanks for such a great take!!
Fuckin’ A. The bar for bisexual rep - particularly male rep - is so low.