The Natasha Lyonne paradox.
What if a beloved straight ally… isn’t fully straight?
If you have any familiarity with queer lady cultural obsessions, you are likely aware that the actress Natasha Lyonne is, uh, one of them. And understandably! Not only was she the star of the amazing (and amazingly campy) lesbians-fall-in-love-at-conversion-camp rom com But I’m A Cheerleader, she also turned in a great performance as Nicky in Netflix’s queer catnip prison drama Orange is the New Black.
Oh, and also she does stuff like this.
It is not a stretch to say that many queer women adore — even idolize — Natasha Lyonne, that she has a special place in our hearts. Truly, there’s only one hitch, which is that Lyonne herself isn’t queer. Yes, the woman who turned in all those compelling lesbian performances is straight — and while that seems to shock people (like, really shock people), it’s never seemed to tarnish her reputation. She’s one of the few straight women who seems cool enough to hang with the queer girls, a straight woman we are happy to accept among our ranks as a queer icon.
Except, well —
Is Natasha Lyonne straight?
She’s definitely not gay, she has definitely been clear about that. But the thing that gives me pause is this moment in a 2016 interview with The New York Times. Interviewer Kathryn Shattuck has just noted that Lyonne is “a lesbian icon, but straight,” to which she replies:
Mind you, when I say I’m not gay, it doesn’t mean that I’ve never tried sleeping with women. Of course I have. I’m not a dumb-dumb.
I never want to feel like I’m taking ownership of an experience that’s not my own. But it seems like a lot of the female experience is in response to men. And when I play a lesbian character, it means that she’s on her own ride. I love men. I want to sleep with as many as possible. But I don’t want my whole life, and certainly my creative experience, to be in response to always just being “the girl.” Like, who needs it?
What a curious response, right? I should acknowledge, of course, that this interview was edited and condensed and who knows how it actually went down in the actual moment, but: someone says you’re straight and your response is not to confirm that, but rather to affirm that you’re “not gay” yet have tried sleeping with women all the same — something that, apparently, only a dumb-dumb would avoid.
There are two reads that occur to me here. One is that Lyonne is straight, but has slept with women, and brings that up mostly as a way to tease, even bait, her queer women fans. If she’s slept with women at some point, there’s always a chance she’ll do it again, and if there’s always a chance she’ll do it again… wink wink.
The other read — and admittedly this is the one that’s far more interesting to me — is that while Lyonne adores men and only wants to date them, she’s also sexually attracted to women and down for the occasional fling. That she’s not straight at all, in fact, but merely a heteroromantic bisexual — albeit one who leans harder into her attractions to men.
In other words: it’s entirely possible that beloved queer icon Natasha Lyonne isn’t a straight ally at all, but instead the most hated form of bisexual to walk the planet.
It’s such a thin line, you know? If you’re a straight girl who’s down to flirt with the lesbians and be a little eye candy you’re good, right; but the second you actually cop to the fact that you might feel hot and bothered about the ladies — even as you prefer men — you’re suddenly vile. God forbid you have agency, you have attraction to women, unless you’re going to fully commit. Far better to be a passive object incapable of reciprocating than a woman who’s only into other women for some fucks.
And look, I don’t purport to know anything about what makes Natasha Lyonne’s heart tick aside from what she’s publicly said. And it’s very possible that she’s fully straight and just an excellent actor who manages to really sell a passionate attraction to women in so many of her works. But it also wouldn’t surprise me if there is a little queerness to her (I mean even if she’s straight, she’s a pretty queer straight, truly, watch that Drew Barrymore clip), a slight sapphism that undergirds her lesbian performances and makes them that much more compelling. And if a heteroromantic bi girl can do that, well…
Maybe we should stop hating heteroromantic bi girls, you know?
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