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lollipop snail's avatar

This attitude is something that has always bothered me in bi spaces online, particularly ones that are supposed to be supportive for bi people. In the attempt to appease monosexuals by distancing bisexuality from polyamory, threesomes, or the general acknowledgement of being attracted to people besides your partner, they end up shaming the bi people who do experience those desires.

I have wondered if this has anything to do with people generalising their own experience of bisexuality and assuming that's how it is for everyone. I know some people fall more into the category where gender doesn't influence their attraction, whereas others find that their attraction is influenced by gender and may fluctuate over time. As someone in the latter group, I think it does introduce some issues with monogamy that I wouldn't have if I were just attracted to people regardless of gender. It kinda sucks if you're in a relationship with a person of one sex, then your bi-cycle swings hard the other way. It feels like that would make me a "bad bisexual" to some people.

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Roger Knox's avatar

As usual, well said Lux. It is an irony that the more comfortable I am with myself and my sexuality, the less desire and need I have for anyone or anything that puts me in a relationship or sexual "box" which creates a MUCH smaller pool of potential romantic/sexual relationship partners. Read in a glass-half-full way, I am not willing to settle into a "box" and then hope I can expand that box to suit who I am. Read in the opposite way, the already small pool of potential partners has become negligible. Or so it feels.

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