Lil Nas X and the limits of the public bisexual reveal.
I mean, assuming Montero decides he truly is "a little bisexual."
I am, it must be admitted, what the kids refer to as “terminally online,” and while I often think that’s bad for me it does, sometimes, mean that I stumble upon important tweets like this one — in which Lil Nas X floats the idea that he might be “a little bisexual” — shortly after they get posted.
It will likely not surprise you to learn that when I saw that tweet I got a little thrill — the same thrill that countless other folks got, judging by the flurry frantic retweets and enthusiastic replies that were immediately unleashed. Since first coming out as gay, Lil Nas X has rapidly become one of our most exciting and iconic queer artists, fearlessly making very very gay art (“Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” “Industry Baby,” and “That’s What I Want” are all in very heavy rotation in my apartment) and refusing to be shamed by homophobes who object to his super fucking gay displays. So the thought of him being bi — even just “a little” bi — is pretty thrilling. Imagine the awesome bisexual art that could result!
And it’s also worth noting that, as both a Black man and specifically one who has been very publicly gay, Lil Nas X’s bi reveal has a different tenor than the ones we usually get — a bi Lil Nas X feels different than, say, a bi Susan Sarandon or Emily Ratajkowski, whose interest in women doesn’t feel quite as groundbreaking or surprising.
And yet. For all my excitement, I actually don’t really feel like this tweet means much in the grand scheme of things. It’s not even the hesitancy around the disclosure — presumably he wouldn’t have tweeted that without feeling a little “homoflexible,” though who knows if he will walk it back in the coming days. It’s simply that I just don’t think that celebrities coming out as bi — even ones as exciting and interesting as Lil Nas X — actually helps create social change.
I mean for starters, Lil Nas X is hardly the first exciting artist to publicly dabble with bisexual attractions. He’s not even the first groundbreaking musician to do it — David Bowie beat him to that by several decades. And the thing that always happens, the thing that will very likely happen with Lil Nas X as well, is that — initial flurry of excitement aside — no one really takes it seriously. As I’ve mentioned multiple times before, Alan Cumming is bi, has “come out” repeatedly, and yet is virtually always remembered as a gay man. It’s not hard to imagine a bi Lil Nas X experiencing the same fate (especially if his bisexuality is limited to an occasional sexual interest in women and not actual desire for relationships with them).
A couple of months ago I argued that coming out as bisexual is not enough, because the central tenet of biphobia is not that bisexuality is disgusting but rather that bisexuals are deluded or lying. Coming out as gay or lesbian means publicly aligning oneself with behavior that society has deemed unacceptable. Coming out as bisexual — well, it doesn’t challenge the idea that you’re lying or deluded, because even the most vocal public statement could still be a deluded lie. Which puts bisexuals in a bind, right? We need to be publicly out in order to gain the kind of visibility that leads to social change. But being publicly out does not necessarily gain us that visibility. It can feel a bit discouraging, if I’m being honest.
I’ve spent a few months thinking about what I mean when I talk about “bisexual representation,” about what it would take for a public coming out to feel meaningful, to feel like it could push the needle. In November, I noted that, despite the fact that bisexuals make up a full 4% of the American population, there is only one openly bisexual member of Congress. That is the kind of representation (well, underrepresentation) that gives me pause, especially as gay and lesbian representation in Congress reaches parity with the percentage of Americans who are gay and lesbian. (Worth noting that there are 0 openly trans members of Congress and that also needs work!)
I am, I will admit, a little fixated on the question of what it would mean to remedy that. What would it mean to recruit out bisexuals to run for office? What would it mean to coax closeted bisexuals who are currently in office to publicly come out as bi? It’s not just about combating the stigma by simply saying “we’re here and proud” — though it is partially that. It’s also me just wondering what kind of issues could be discussed, could be brought to the table, once we start recognizing bisexuality as a political identity? Could we reframe the conversation to be, not about bisexual feelings, but about the global plight of bisexual asylum seekers? Could we use it to talk about the bisexual poverty rate, about the fact that bisexual women are uniquely targeted for sexual assault? And if we could do that, what legislative remedies might arise from those conversations? How might we begin to see that kind of visibility shift the conversation?
I mean, that’s what I’m interested in, anyway. But I’m still excited to see Lil Nas X flirt with the possibility of his own bisexuality. Maybe it will result in a hot new music video. You know, like something that follows in the footsteps of Janelle Monáe’s “Make Me Feel.” I think that would be pretty nice.
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I was just thinking about that hot, excellent music video by Janelle Monae! I recently found your substack and I'm really enjoying it.