So from the very beginning of this newsletter I’ve been very open about why I identify as/default to the term “bisexual” as opposed to pansexual (or polysexual or omnisexual or what have you), and why I favor the “bi+ umbrella” phrasing over the more newfangled mspec (which I think stands for something like multiamorous spectrum?).
Fundamentally, I think the differences between these terms are far, far more personal than political — a person who identifies as pansexual is likely to face the same policing and disbelief as a person who identifies as bisexual, and while it may personally matter to you to flag that your attraction to someone happens irrespective of gender (or that you just like flags with yellow in them), I don't think that that personal distinction is going to affect your experience of oppression as someone who experiences attraction to multiple genders. I also think that the fixation people have on getting people with attractions to multiple genders to choose the “correct” label — to ID as queer instead of bi, to ID as pan instead of bi, to be anything instead of bi — is, at the end of the day, just so much more biphobic policing, this insistence that if only we chose the correct language people would be fine with us being attracted to multiple genders (spoiler alert: they won’t).
I use the word “bisexual” because it has so much baggage and I want people to have to confront their discomfort; I also use it because, well, it’s just the word that most people who experience attraction to multiple genders identify with.
To wit: the recent Gallup survey on sexual orientation attempted to get a bit more nuanced with language this year. Instead of simply asking people if they were lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trans, there were additional options for pansexual, asexual, queer, and “other LGBT;” respondents also had the option to tick multiple boxes. The results? The vast majority of LGBTQ-identified respondents (58.2%, or 4.2% of Americans overall) identified as bisexual, while pansexuals were 1.7% of LGBT respondents (0.1% of Americans) and queers were 1.2% of LGBT respondents (also roughly 0.1% of Americans).
I’m not one to make a “might makes right” argument, and I do think that pansexuals and queers deserve to have their identities respected (especially if they are averse to the bisexual label!) and have the option to ID as such rather than being lumped in with bisexuals*. But at the same time: “bisexual” clearly resonates with a solid chunk of people, even when they are given the option of IDing as pansexual or queer either exclusively or in addition to IDing as bi (and a decent chunk of people appear to have chosen both because Gallup’s numbers exceed 100%). So this fixation on the word just seems like so much drama over nothing. The vast majority of multi-gender attracted people, who make up the vast majority of LGBTQ people, are using the word bi to describe themselves. That should be enough to end the debate.
* One of the best arguments for I’ve seen for this is that trans/non-binary people are more likely to ID as pansexual or queer, which means these labels can potentially flag the way that gender identity affects one’s experience of multi-gender attraction — though it is worth noting, of course, that trans and non-binary bi people absolutely exist as well.