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Sage's avatar

Hi! I was intending to email some longer thoughts (particularly about how bimisogyny ties into Radfem Shit and how many Radfem Shit ideas people have taken up even if they consider themselves anti-terf), but I can't find it listed anywhere on substack?

I will say that as a bi man, the impacts of bimisandry within the gay community are significant. Like, it's really harmful to have someone say *to your face* that your orientation doesn't exist and you're a coward! At its worst, gay men act like you should fuck off from gay spaces until you're ready to be "properly gay". It may not be the same as heterosexual society treating us as a threat that could bring the whole thing down, but I feel like seeing it as just an "impatience" really doesn't capture the way that bimisandrist gay men act towards us. Bimisandry from gay men flies under the radar because most bi men pretend to be gay in gay spaces, because that's just easier and the structural erasure of bisexuality in gay spaces is very strong -- so the actively prejudicial elements don't "jump out" often enough to show how bad the problem really is. (Plus some of the older gay men do outright blame us for spreading AIDS to straight women and "making the community look bad", "if you all would just commit to being *gay* that wouldn't have happened", etc, so that prejudice doesn't just come from heterosexual society.)

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metasequoiana's avatar

> being one of the boys but also a girl who you can fuck*

Would love to hear more elaboration on this -- this is a terrific summary of my experiences with men, my sexuality, and also my gender confusion, and one I have very ambivalent feelings on.

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