Greetings from the shores of the Chesapeake Bay, folks! My vacation has been a lovely one so far, in case anyone was wondering.
But that’s not what this newsletter is about, is it. You want to hear about the bisexuals. And today — inspired by a comment left by
— I want to talk about bisexual vampires.Bisexual vampires! There sure are a lot of them, right? There’s Southern bloodsuckers of True Blood, Lestat in Interview with a Vampire, Adventure Time’s Marceline the Vampire Queen and the whole What We Do In The Shadows crew (though I would argue that Marceline is bi and the WWDITS folks are pan, and you know that I am correct here), plus I think Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston were bi in Only Lovers Left Alive because, I mean, it was Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston. I don’t know anything about Twilight so don’t ask me.
As we all (hopefully) know, vampires are not real, so the question of “why are so many vampires bisexual?” is more about what vampires are supposed to be symbolizing — and how we understand bisexuality — than, uh, the mechanics of vampirism itself (though I do think in-world logic is interesting to unpack and we’ll get to that in a second). To wit: in many formulations, vampiric bloodsucking is a stand-in for sexual ruination (especially during the height of the AIDS epidemic, when the connection between sex and blood was impossible to ignore), thus we get queer vampires who lure the innocent straights into a life of debauchery — and specifically bisexual vampires whose lack of gender bias lends them access to a wider net of victims. Vampiric bisexuality here is more about pragmatism than anything else: if vampires were monosexual, they’d be a lot less effective at their tasks. I don’t know that this says anything about bisexuality, per se; though it does suggest an understanding of bisexuality as a tool rather than a way of being.
On the other end of the spectrum — and nodding back to
’s comment — we have the immortality of vampirism as a convenient, nonjudgmental venue for bisexuality. If someone lives forever, and if they’re not going to be dating another immortal, then their extended life opens up the doors to a variety of monogamous relationships with people of many genders, without questioning the whole idea of a life long love. You can adore your mortal boyfriend, and then when he dies get a girlfriend, or a non-binary partner, and all of these loves can be equally valid without having to be simultaneous. It’s a neat hack, I suppose — a way of validating bisexuality without challenging the idea that our short mortal lives are supposed to be defined by one singular “true” love.But let’s turn now to in-world explanations, because I do think there are some mechanics here that are worth discussing. Are vampires bisexual because bisexuals are more likely to become bi, or is there something about vampirism that creates bisexuality? What We Do In The Shadows is an interesting example to ponder here, because it seems to be unsure of its stance. Nandor, for instance, talks about having “girl and guy wives” during his pre-vampire days, and Laszlo seems like he’s always been a bit of a pansexual fop. And yet: we also hear stories of vampiric orgies that make it sound as though monosexuality is unheard of in the vampire community — a strong suggestion that vampires just live so long that having any sexual boundaries and restrictions (aside from boning a vampire killer) becomes utterly boring.
HOWEVER (and this is where it gets interesting to me): if vampires turn to bisexuality out of boredom, then what happens to gay vampires, you know? Are we to assume that, by WWDITS vampire logic, proud gay man Guillermo might eventually be turned bi by vampirism because immortality is boring — and why does it feel more violating to think of vampirism leading a gay or lesbian to embrace hetero sex than for it to turn heteros queer?
I don’t actually have any answers here (not least because, you know, vampires aren’t real), but I think it’s interesting to think about. Bisexuality, it’s clear, is perceived as otherworldly: whether because it’s a vicious threat to mortal morality or because it’s something you need all the time in the world to actually comprehend (which, I mean, fair).
Alas, far too many of us are only human.
PS Congrats to Wayne Brady on coming out as pansexual, can’t say I’m surprised!
PPS This has nothing to do with bisexuality but I have an oped in the New York Times today and you should read it. Here’s a gift link.
Meant to comment earlier but both honoured and somewhat taken aback to have helped inspire a post!
I do think people are a /bit/ more willing tom accept immortals' relationships with /each other/ won't be expected to be "one forever" as well, but that's probably more marginal.
Also whilst I've not read the books I've seen people arguing vehemently recently Anne Rice wrote her vampires as asexual (though Lestat would still be biromantic, I think?).
Anyway, fun piece!
I kept thinking that maybe bisexual artists/writers are drawn to vampires and maybe that's why we have so many bisexual vampires 🤔 And maybe it's a cycle of bi creates, bi relates, bi creates etc until we have a "stereotype"