There’s this phrase that routinely pops up when people are attempting to, ahem, combat biphobia. It is a phrase that I have referenced multiple times over the course of writing this newsletter, almost always in a wry sarcastic manner, because quite frankly, I fucking hate this phrase.
You know what it is, because I mentioned it in the subject of this email:
Motherfucking myth busting.
I’m sure you are familiar with Bisexual Myth Busting™️. How could you not be? It’s the default, the standard form of bisexual education. A bisexual educator shows up to rap with the youth, probably wearing a backwards baseball cap and cuffed pants and sitting weirdly in a chair, and they lay it all out for the kids.
Bisexuals can’t be monogamous.
MYTH! Some bisexuals are monogamous, some bisexuals are nonmonogamous. It depends on the individual.
Bisexuals are destined to cheat on you.
MYTH! Bisexuals are no more untrustworthy than monosexuals.
Bisexuals are slutty slutty whores.
MYTH! Some bisexuals are slutty slutty whores, but some are prudes and some are virgins too.
And so on and so forth.
The thing about this “myth busting” framework is that once you’ve adopted it, you’ve already lost. You are conceding that these stereotypes are worth your time to defend against, you are acting as though “Bisexuals are people too!” is some grand and beautiful statement rather than a depressing acknowledgment of how deeply ingrained biphobia is in society. “We are people too?” That’s our big statement here?
And look: I don’t want to downplay how hurtful, how distressing, the prevalence of these stereotypes can be. I, too, have had friends say absolutely horrible shit to me about my bisexuality, about what it means for my personhood. I get that it stings.
But I don’t think that myth busting actually works. I mean, if it did, we wouldn’t still be having this fucking conversation, would we?
(Also, it’s corny as fuck and I object to it for that reason too.)
What I would prefer, honestly, is just some good old fashion Bisexual WHO GIVES A FUCK.
Bisexuals can’t be monogamous.
WHO GIVES A FUCK.
Bisexuals are destined to cheat on you.
WHO GIVES A FUCK.
Bisexuals are slutty slutty whores.
WHO GIVES A FUCK.
And so on and so forth. You cannot plead with people to recognize your humanity, friends. It is a losing game. You can only realize that, ultimately, the people who refuse to recognize your humanity simply are not worth engaging with.
Love love loved this one. Working on a paper about the history of my local bi activist community and found a poster from almost two decades ago full of bisexual myth busting. To be fair, the same collective later had a poster that was way more of a bisexual who gives a fuck :)